Dear Advertising Fairy:<\/p>\n
Thank you for the wishes you granted last year. I\u2019m happy that the \u201cLost another loan to DiTech<\/i>\u201d banker appears to be gone. And, although I\u2019m still waiting for you to eliminate those stupid TAG Body Spray storylines that so blatently rip off the old Hai Karate ads from 1967, I\u2019m confidant you\u2019ll get to them soon. <\/p>\n
Ad Fairy, I hope you\u2019ve dusted off your magic wand, \u2018cause we’ve flipped the calendar over again and I have my usual five more advertising wishes for for the new year. <\/p>\n 5. The phrase \u201cNow THAT\u2019s what I\u2019m talking about<\/i>\u201d will never be used again in any ad any time anywhere. In fact, let\u2019s strike it from the vocabulary. OK, Ad Fairy?<\/p>\n 4. Instead of saying \u201cThis product has not been evaluated by the FDA<\/i>,\u201d natural male enhancement products will not be allowed on TV until<\/u> evaluated by the FDA.<\/p>\n 3. X-Treme anything will no longer be allowed. Let\u2019s find a new word. How about\u2026 um\u2026 Poofy? That could work. \u201cTonight on Poofy Sports\u2026.<\/i>\u201d<\/p>\n 2. Ads for ED medications will get past that pesky four hour issue. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n And my top wish for advertising in 2007? <\/p>\n 1. That Apple give us more \u201cI\u2019m a PC \/ I\u2019m a Mac<\/i>\u201d ads.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n If they did that, then maybe other advertisers would catch on to the power of a simple explanation of benefits to the purchaser. If Apple lead by their current fine example, other companies might drop the “entertainment” thats being passed off as solid marketing.<\/p>\n Perhaps that guy building the stand up comedy club in his back yard would simply consider the STARZ<\/i> comedy pack for $12.95. Maybe then the Quaker Oatmeal To Go<\/i> guy would stop cooking on the bus. With those examples could Carmen Electra quit throwing herself at the ordinary guy who dumped her in the Taco Bell<\/i> commercials? And then would it be possible for Halls Sugar-Free Bursts<\/i> not to be used to take the scratches out of an LP record? <\/p>\n Could they all stop talking to me as if I’m mentally deficient?<\/p>\n Hummm. <\/p>\n While I think of it, let’s put Countrywide Finance<\/i> and E-Harmony<\/i> on the list of advertisers who don\u2019t pander to, don\u2019t talk down to, and don\u2019t treat me as if I\u2019m stupid. Ad Fairy. I wish them all greater success in 2007. <\/p>\n But see what you can do with those TAG Body Spray ads, ok?<\/p>\n
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